T-shirts:

51% Sweetheart, 49% Bitch...
Don't Push Me!

C.P.A.
Certified Pain In The Ass

Don't Ask Me!
I've Got 2 Balls But Neither Of Them Are Crystal!

When I woke up this morning I had one nerve left
And now you're getting on it!

I got this T-Shirt for my HUSBAND...
GOOD TRADE, HUH?