Murphy's Military Laws

  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
  • No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
  • Friendly fire ain't.
  • The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
  • The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
  • The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
  • The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
  • Incoming fire has the right of way.
  • If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
  • The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
  • If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
  • The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  • There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
  • Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
  • If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

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